No South Carolina love for Colbert?

Native son Steven Colbert is a gone goslin’. South Carolina Dems couldn’t get his name off the primary ballot fast enough. In a 13-3 vote, the Democratic Executive Council rejected a Colbert candidacy. The repercussions — for the South Carolina Democratic Party in general and the Obama campaign in particular — are right tawdry.

Online howling commenced with a bang bigger than the first shot fired in the Civil War, which, for those of you who don’t know your history, was fired by South Carolina. Bloggers and commentators alike are on us South Carolinians like white on rice. Clearly, they holler, S.C. Democrats are anything but, well, democratic. They blame Obama supporters as the power behind the Democratic/democratic lapse. It’s tacky bidness down here, pure and simple.

Inez Tenebaum, former superintendent of education and member of the Obama camp, lobbied to get Colbert’s name off the ballot. She said she could not imagine Iowa or New Hampshire “letting a comedian on the ballot.” We want to be like them. Don Fowler, longtime S.C pol and former chairman of the DNC, maintains that, while there was some concern among Obama supporters about losses in the young voter demographic, it was not the reason he opposed a Colbert candidacy. He compared Colbert to Nader in 2000 (A bit of a stretch, if you ask me).

Here’s the truth as we liberals see it down here in the Palmetto State: Fowler hit the Confederate nail on the head when he said “[South Carolina] would be the laughingstock of America.” Council member Lumus Byrd, who voted in favor of Colbert, said we would be exposed to ridicule. All the things we don’t like aired in public — the wrong flag in all the wrong places, lousy schools, our dicey racial history — would be fodder for Comedy Central and the nation. For a South Carolinian with identity issues (and we sure, Lord, have ‘em), a Colbert Candidacy is anything but Comic Relief. We’ve got problems enough down here; politics is only funny late at night on cable. We Southern Liberals dose up on Jon Stewart, Seven Colbert and Bill Maher like public policy Prozac. They keep us from imploding.

It’s not fair to blast S.C. Democrats for political hanky-panky. What we’re guilty of is piss-poor political management. In this state Republicans are much better at the machinations of slate-building. They have a built-in filter to ensure candidates are worthy: it costs $25 thousand to get your name on their primary ballot in the first quarter. By the time Steven Colbert threw his clown hat in the ring, the Repub filing fee was a cool $35K. It takes serious bucks to run as a right-winger. Democrats, in true egalitarian fashion, charge only about $2500. Colbert refused to pony up the GOP’s asking price. Too much to pay for a satiric candidacy. He’s a comic — not a total fool.

The left would have been the sole loser in the event of a Colbert Comeuppance; in a close primary race a few thousand votes impacts the outcome. Not fair. We’re sick of losing down here; it makes us cranky.

And let’s face facts. Even if the Right didn’t charge out the wazoo, those guys don’t have the sense of humor God gave a huntin’ dawg. They’d never have lost “real” votes to Colbert. When they vote funny it’s because they’re laughing — all the way to the Corporate America Military-Industrial Complex National Bank. And that’s the truth(iness).

Thanks to huffingtonpost.com.

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